Some dreams were never meant to be... 

Renowned architect, Josh McDaniels, spent ten years avoiding his hometown and the unforgettable memories of his youth. But when a former classmate phones him before Christmas with a proposal he can’t refuse, he finds himself back in small-town, Lexington, Missouri, surrounded by holiday festivities and engulfed in memories of a blue-eyed girl. 

Amanda Masterson knows three things about Josh. She loves him, he loves her, and he’ll walk out when those feelings terrify him, as he always does. Ten years ago, he abandoned their dreams. Eight years ago, he returned to break her heart again. Now, he’s back once more, and this time, he’s jeopardizing not only her heart but her daughter’s as well. 

Can the spirit of Christmas overcome a past riddled with mistakes? Or will fears and doubts destroy the greatest gift of all?

~~~~~~~~

Josh slowly navigated his Mustang down South Street. The town hadn’t changed a hell of a lot. A few new buildings rose up in the middle of the square, a handful of other shops changed hands, but for the most part, Lexington looked exactly as he remembered.

House after house sported colorful Christmas lights that glistened against the deep, white snow. December wasn’t usually a month that saw a lot of snow in Missouri, but this year Mother Nature had been kind to the kids. Snowmen stood in front yards, broomsticks in their hands, old hats set on their heads. Other frosty creations dotted the sprawling lawns, adding to the charm of the historic district.

He blinked. Charm? Since when had he ever considered anything about Lexington remotely charming? It had to be the architect in him. The trained eye that appreciated angles and lines and masterful craftsmanship of an era long gone. Things he’d never noticed before his formal training.

Each house had a personality. A feeling all its own that the common market lacked today. Houses built in a month, sometimes more quickly, didn’t have heart. Houses that took years to build, like these sweeping brick monstrosities, were made by people who cared about their work. Men who put a little of their soul into each assignment. The way Josh did with each hand-drawn blueprint he produced.

He could relate to these old buildings. Or at least the folks that built them.

Nosing his car down the narrow drive to The Victorianne, he eased around the towering mansion that embodied his thoughts. Talk about heart. Its two-story magnificence, complete with tall towers, breathtaking gables, a covered porch, and a second-story balcony, epitomized the beauty of Victorian architecture. His favorite period.

Rolling to a stop, he set the brake and turned off the ignition. He sat a few minutes longer in the silence, admiring the bed and breakfast. Now long after dark, twinkling lights decorated the covered porch, nestled between greenery interwoven around the banister. Very Christmassy. Olivia and he had never made a fuss over the holiday. Not like they had as kids. It felt strange knowing he’d be spending the next two weeks buried in the heart of holiday celebration. He’d have to pick up something for Lucas. If he could figure out where his former best friend’s interests were theses days. His hobbies. Hell, Josh didn’t even know where Lucas was working.

He opened his car door, grabbed his luggage, and wandered to the front door. It opened instantly, Susannah Anderson greeting him with a wide smile.

“Josh McDaniels. How good to see you.” She opened the glass door with the friendly welcome. “Come in. How are you? How is Olivia?”

“I’m doing fine, Mrs. Anderson. Olivia’s well too. I’ll be sure to tell her you asked.”

He wouldn’t. Olivia didn’t care.

Taking care to stomp his feet on the rug, he stepped into the front foyer and glanced around. Striped paper lined the walls, offsetting the rich, dark wood of the opposite stairwell and an elaborate wooden mantel that glowed with a cozy gas fire.

“What brings you back to Lexington? How long’s it been now since your daddy died? Don’t think I’ve seen you, or Olivia, since.”

There it was. He’d wondered who would be the first to mention it. Susannah Anderson hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“Eight years, ma’am.”

“Such a shame that was. He was such a good man. Just couldn’t hold himself together when your mother had to leave to take care of her sister. His whole world revolved around Ramona.”

Josh ground his teeth together, managing a polite, “Yes, ma’am.” Nothing in the world could make him revisit that portion of his past. He hadn’t spoken to his mother since he was fifteen. The excuse she gave for walking out disgusted him. With his dad’s subsequent suicide, he lost all the family he had. Except Olivia.

As if sensing his deliberate silence, Susannah beckoned to him with a wag of her fingers. “I reckon you’re wanting to settle in for the night. Let me take you up to your room. I saved the green bedroom for you. You should have enough room to work in there.”

With a heavy step, she twisted a bad hip onto the stairwell, stopped, and shook her head. “Can’t do it, Josh. My legs aren’t up to it tonight. I have a young gal come by and clean for me during the days, but I haven’t been up these stairs all year. You’ll forgive me, won’t you?”

“Of course,” he replied with a smile. Truth to tell, he’d rather be free of her polite, yet invasive, chatter.

“Go on up. Door’s open. If you need anything, I’ll be down here in the back rooms till around ten. Just holler.”

He nodded politely and made his way up the stairs, listening to the groan and creak of old wood. The kind of noises that added to the charm, gave these historic landmarks even more personality.

He let himself into the green room and gently set his bag in the chair near the gas fireplace. His suit bag, he hung in the wardrobe. Still needing to eat, he left his jacket on, his scarf hanging off his shoulders. Riley’s Pub and Grill called to him, their thick hamburgers a long-ago favorite. Maybe Lucas would go with him.

Only one way to find out—ask. He’d stop by on his way.

Bouncing his keys in his hand, he returned to his car and backed out of the parking spot. He turned north on 15th Street, went one block, and turned east on Franklin. Three blocks down, Lucas’ smaller, A-frame home sat in the middle of the block. Multicolored lights adorned the covered front porch and the short evergreen bushes in front of it. A pair of lighted white reindeer with red bows touched their noses to the snow near a gigantic snowman with stick arms.

Josh chortled. Some things never changed. Every winter, he and Lucas had tried to outdo the other with what they could make out of the snow. Josh’s snow penis finally won—although his dad had taken away the car for an entire month for that stunt. Amanda had been furious too. That was almost worse than not having the car.

Evidently, Lucas still honored tradition.

He pulled into the drive and looked up at the house. A bright yellow porch light illuminated the red door, and in the front window, another lamp burned bright. But the rest of the house was dark. No cars sat in the driveway, and the residence didn’t have a garage.

Damn. Josh wasn’t particularly in the mood to eat alone and risk running into someone else he knew. He had too many unfamiliar, uncomfortable feelings rumbling around inside him tonight to socialize. To pretend he wanted to be back here. To reminisce.

His stomach grumbled.

He’d order something to go. Take it back to The Victorianne and eat in his room. Afterward he’d phone Lucas and set up something for tomorrow evening, figure out where he should be, and when, for Mae’s Christmas party. The extra sleep would be good for him after the long hours of work this month.

The snow crunched under his tires as Josh backed down Lucas’ drive. He resisted the pull to go around the block past Amanda’s mother’s house, and turned around the way he’d come from. Nine blocks west and another north to Main, he pulled up in front of Riley’s Pub and got out. Loud music and raucous laughter hit him hard, shoving him back into the past, to the last time he’d been here. Eight years ago, the night of his father’s funeral, he’d gotten shit-faced with Amanda and Lucas in a desperate attempt to hide how much the suicide affected him. That night, Amanda…

He stopped, closing his eyes. This was exactly why he didn’t want to come back. Memories crept in, unbidden. Visions of Amanda’s dark blue eyes, how her blond hair tickled his cheek as she leaned over to give him a kiss. Her laughter. The husky catch in her voice when she whispered that she loved him.

With a grimace, Josh forced the image out of his head. Amanda was probably married now. Someone smarter than he, braver than he, would have snatched her up in a heartbeat. Maybe even taken her out of this godforsaken place as she’d longed for. He should have; he’d punished himself for the last ten years for not doing so. But he just…hadn’t.

Shouldering his way through the crowd, he wandered to the bar. Josh winced inwardly as he watched the bartender. A year younger than he, James Gillium looked like he hadn’t changed a day since high school. The kid played left-center on the football team and saved Josh from more sacks than anyone else. They’d been close once. Now, he was just one more person Josh wasn’t ready to see.

Behind the long row of colorful taps, James angled his lumberjack size around, fixing Josh with a hearty grin. “What can I get ya, stranger?”

Josh lowered his eyes, hoping to escape unnoticed. “Need a burger. Can you put it in a box for me?”

James cocked his head. His eyebrows scrunched together as he studied Josh. Slow dawning slipped into his features as his smile turned from bartender-polite to genuine welcome. “I’ll be damned. That really you, McDaniels? Didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

Plastering a polite smile on his face, Josh nodded. Couldn’t anyone think of anything more original to say? Or hell, for that matter, just pretend it hadn’t been eight years since he’d been here? There really wasn’t reason to make a production out of his impromptu visit.

“Want a beer? I’ll give you one on the house.”

Josh shook his head. “Not tonight. I’ll be here for a few days. I’ll come back in and visit, catch up a bit. I just want to hit the hay tonight.”

“You’re up in KC aren’t you now?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, let me get you something while you wait on your order. You sure you don’t want a beer?”

What harm could one beer do? James had a point. Josh was going to sit at the bar for a while anyway—might as well make good use of his time. “Sure. Coors Light.”

As he reached for the tap, James smirked. “Never did get you to stop drinking that horse piss, eh? One of these days, you’re gonna realize Bud’s the way to go, McDaniels.”

“Shit,” Josh replied with a chuckle. “Last I knew, James, you couldn’t hold down even that.”

James’ loud laughter rumbled over the noisy din. “You come back here before you go. I’ll be happy to go one-for-one with you. We’ll see who stumbles down the street after. With a little luck, it’ll be your ass the cops pick up for public intoxication this time.”

He passed Josh his beer and lumbered around the bar into the kitchen.

Still chuckling, Josh stared down into the amber brew. Everything about Lexington wasn’t all bad. In between all the stuff that hurt like hell, he’d had some real good times as a kid. He’d forgotten most of those things. Not deliberately as he tried to do with the rest, just a result of the passing of time.

He looked up as James leaned his elbows on the bar in front of him. “So whatcha been up to? Heard you were some fancy architect in the city.”

“I don’t know about the fancy, but I work my ass off,” Josh answered with a grin.

“Ya married? Got kids?”

“Hell no.” Josh laughed as he lifted his chilled mug to his lips. He took a long drink, set it back down, and stared at the wavy pattern in the glass. “Don’t think I’ll ever settle down like that. Ain’t worth the trouble.” No one makes me feel like she did. “Everyone I know’s had a marriage fall apart ‘cause someone cheated.” He shrugged. “I don’t see the use in it. Less hassle to just enjoy what comes along, when it comes along, and when it gets old, let it go. Cheaper too.”

James bellowed with laughter again. “Ain’t that the truth? My ex has my boy in Columbia. I spend half my salary paying for him and only get to see him on holidays.”

Exactly why Josh never wanted children. He knew all too well the way it felt to be caught in the middle of divorce and custody issues. He’d rather die than force a child to go through that kind of confusing pain.

“Food’s up” a masculine voice hollered through a small window behind the bar.

“That’s your burger. Be right back.”

“What do I owe you?”

James shook his head as he reached for the Styrofoam box. “You come back before you leave. Spend an evening here. We’ll call it even.”

With a short nod, Josh pushed off his stool, waved goodbye, and escaped into the crisp night.

Thank God, that was over. He’d come back, but tonight wasn’t the night for cutting loose. Over the weekend, maybe, when the bar wasn’t so full of people. When he could relax a little and stop feeling like the instant he turned around, he’d confront someone from the past.

He set his burger on the seat next to him and started the engine. Driving down South Street, the city quieted the farther he went into the residential area near The Victorianne. Behind front windows, silhouettes moved around, the flash of televisions blinked against glass panes. Families retired early, a good portion of them likely to be at Mae’s, at least at some point, tomorrow night. For as long as he could remember, Mae had the Christmas party of the year. She invited practically the whole town.

Nosing into his parking space, he turned off the key. The engine rumbled to a stop, and he listened to the mechanical clicks beneath the hood as parts cooled off. Restlessness seeped into his bones, made his nerves twitch, urging him to do something. Telltale signs sleep would evade him tonight. Not what he needed.

He opened his burger box and took a bite. Maybe food would curb insomnia before it had the chance to set in. It better. He didn’t have a damn thing to occupy himself with through the night. He hadn’t even brought a book along.

Burger finished, he picked at his now-cold fries and muttered. So much for food helping him unwind. He still felt the pull to do something. Anything. Just move. Occupy his mind. That, partnered with the lingering discomfort in his gut, brought about from too many confrontations with memories, and he could kiss sleep goodnight completely at this point.

Perhaps a walk would tire him out. If nothing else, strolling past the decorated houses might help him get in touch with the holiday spirit. Amanda’s mother’s house was just down the street. He’d walk there and back. Two summers after his father passed, Lucas sent him a card telling him Mrs. Henders had passed away. Cancer had finally gotten the best of her. It would be interesting to see who lived in Amanda’s old house now.

Bullshit, Josh. You want to see her.

Had they repainted it? Did they ever cut down the old oak that got hit by lightning and split in half? Maybe another teenage girl now lived in the window near the elm’s thick branch, and he’d catch her sneaking out to meet the boy she was presently grounded from seeing. Or, maybe he’d find another boy like himself sneaking out the window, off to convince said girl out of her house because without her, Friday night was boring. Particularly when he didn’t have football games and couldn’t see her cheering on the sidelines in that dangerously short skirt that revealed a little too much for his eighteen-year-old hormones when she kicked her foot to her ear.

He chortled.

Damn, they’d all had some good times here.

Lost in thought, he wandered down the sidewalk, walking through the few fond memories Lexington held. He saw grade school games of tag behind the thick-trunked, old trees; days of riding bikes up and down South Street, terrorizing Mr. Johnson by finding every rock they could and dumping them into his Koi pond; summer evenings staring up at the stars with her.

The rumble of a car’s engine brought his head up, and he slowed his pace as a silver Honda Accord touched its brakes thirty or so feet in front of him. With a crunch, it rolled over the banked snow on the curb and pulled into Amanda’s mother’s driveway.

Josh gave in to a fond smile. He’d get a first-hand glimpse of who lived here now. Maybe a young couple, just starting out life, still caught up in newlywed bliss, not yet exposed to the reality of how faithless love was. They’d learn. But for a while, they’d feel like they had everything, that the whole world lay in their naive hands. Like he’d believed until his mother shattered that innocence.

He kept walking, approaching the driveway casually, his curiosity piqued.

The driver’s door opened. A woman climbed out, toting a plastic grocery sack in one hand. Her honey-blond hair brushed the top of her shoulders, and as she walked in front of the car, the automatic headlights gave it a soft sheen.

Josh’s heart skidded to a stop at the same time his feet did. It couldn’t be.

“Amanda?” he called out, quietly.

She stopped, turning around with a puzzled expression. “Yes?” She started back toward the car’s rear end.

He hurried forward, meeting her halfway. As those blue eyes focused on him, and recognition settled into their dark depths, Josh couldn’t breathe.

Oh, God. Amanda.

Everything inside him screamed to reach out, touch her, hold her in his arms, and go back. Go back where everything was normal. Where she was so in love with him she made him believe dreams were possible.

“Josh,” she whispered.

Nodding, he swallowed and searched for a smile. He found it, but it faltered with his nerves. Though he’d hoped, he hadn’t expected to find her here. Lucas hadn’t said anything. “Hi,” he managed.

“Hi.” She worried her free hand through her short hair, and in the streetlight, a diamond glittered on her left ring finger.

His gut turned over, clamping down tight. Someone had, indeed, been smarter and braver than he.

“I didn’t know you took over Mom’s house.”

Holding his gaze, she nodded. “It was all I had.”

Fighting down the urge to wince, he ignored the flash of hurt that passed behind her eyes. When she blinked, it was gone. But lurking there instead was something that took his breath away again. Emotion. The same kind that haunted his memories when he dared to think back on her. The kind that went hand in hand with the words, Josh, you’re everything to me.

He shifted his weight. “You look good, Amanda.”

She did too. She was still as slender as she’d always been, but the last eight years added a little softness to her youthful form. A woman’s fullness a man couldn’t hope to ignore. Age had yet to mark her face, aside from a few small smile crinkles in the corners of her eyes.

“Thanks. The years haven’t been too hard on you either.”

Her smile sent his heart careening into his ribs. For the love of God, he couldn’t stand here and not touch her. “Could I…” He swallowed again, his throat tightening. “Can I hug you?”

Without a word, her arms wound around his neck, and she stepped in close.

He slipped his around her waist and held her tight, inhaling the faint scent of some sort of perfume that made him think of summertime and the lake’s sandy beach. Her body melded into his as it had a hundred times before, snug and perfect. Soft. She felt so good.

He tightened his arms, as if he might be able to erase everything and somehow transcend time. She nuzzled her nose into his shoulder, and he caught the back of her head in his hand, her silken hair sliding through his fingers. Tipping his chin, he leaned his cheek against the top of her head.

Amanda.

Like she could hear the silent plea in his heart, she edged away, freeing herself from his embrace. She didn’t look at him. Instead, she stared at his chest. “I better go in. It’s good to see you.”

He couldn’t speak. Could only stare at the large diamond on her hand.

She offered him a tiny smile, and he could have sworn, before she turned around, her eyes glimmered with unshed tears.

As she made her way inside the house, he gazed after her. Behind the lightweight curtains in her front window, her silhouette moved across the room toward the blinking lights on a Christmas tree. A tall, broad-shouldered, masculine figure rose to join her. They embraced, and Josh’s heart twisted.

She could have been his. Should have been. And now, when he hadn’t realized just how much Amanda Henders meant to him until he watched another man hold her, he was too late.

Some dreams were never meant to be... 

Renowned architect, Josh McDaniels, spent ten years avoiding his hometown and the unforgettable memories of his youth. But when a former classmate phones him before Christmas with a proposal he can’t refuse, he finds himself back in small-town, Lexington, Missouri, surrounded by holiday festivities and engulfed in memories of a blue-eyed girl. 

Amanda Masterson knows three things about Josh. She loves him, he loves her, and he’ll walk out when those feelings terrify him, as he always does. Ten years ago, he abandoned their dreams. Eight years ago, he returned to break her heart again. Now, he’s back once more, and this time, he’s jeopardizing not only her heart but her daughter’s as well. 

Can the spirit of Christmas overcome a past riddled with mistakes? Or will fears and doubts destroy the greatest gift of all?

~~~~~~~~

Some dreams were never meant to be... 

Renowned architect, Josh McDaniels, spent ten years avoiding his hometown and the unforgettable memories of his youth. But when a former classmate phones him before Christmas with a proposal he can’t refuse, he finds himself back in small-town, Lexington, Missouri, surrounded by holiday festivities and engulfed in memories of a blue-eyed girl. 

Amanda Masterson knows three things about Josh. She loves him, he loves her, and he’ll walk out when those feelings terrify him, as he always does. Ten years ago, he abandoned their dreams. Eight years ago, he returned to break her heart again. Now, he’s back once more, and this time, he’s jeopardizing not only her heart but her daughter’s as well. 

Can the spirit of Christmas overcome a past riddled with mistakes? Or will fears and doubts destroy the greatest gift of all?

~~~~~~~~

A chainsaw’s buzz brought Josh McDaniels’ head up with a snap. He gazed out his home office’s picture window at the turn of the century, Colonial mansion across the street as a one-hundred-year-old oak crashed to the ground. Three bulldozers, a backhoe, and a wrecking ball lined the gravel-packed, circular drive, their orange-yellow paint a harsh contrast to the surrounding, brilliant, white snow.

He let out a deep sigh. Some dreams were never meant to come true.

It was time. The old house finally couldn’t hold out any longer. After what must have been twenty years of sitting on the market with a four million dollar price tag, the California owners gave in to the pressure of hotel mogul, James Caverson, and signed the single-family estate over to development.

Kansas City would lose another historical landmark.

Never mind that others, like himself, had made reasonable offers on Warwick Manor with intentions to restore it. To return it to its heyday by recreating the Italian gardens complete with marble statues, polishing the oak floors, picking the weeds out of the cobblestone drive to reveal the inlaid Celtic cross. Repaint and refurnish. Move in. Let children run in the halls.

Not that he had plans for the children part. But the rest of it…The rest of it was all he had left of a summer he couldn’t forget.

Just like that summer, the house would crumble into faded memory.

He returned to his wide architectural pad and focused on the drawings. The columns needed a little more shade, the old iron lantern that hung over the porch wasn’t quite right.

He needed more time. Another day, and he’d finish the details. But as engines whirred to life, the crew outside told him loud and clear time had run out. What little more he could cram into the pages, he’d have to do quickly. Unless he wanted to recreate the picture with a wide hole in the middle of the old brick.

“Mr. McDaniels, you have a call on line two,” his secretary buzzed in on his phone.

Josh pushed a hand through his hair and inhaled. Now wasn't the time for sentiment. He shouldn't be working on fanciful blueprints anyway. He had more important things to do. Like finish the final details on the new, eight-level, Country Club Plaza parking garage. The developer intended to break ground with spring’s first thaw. For the last two weeks, the man had been all over Josh to finish the plans.

He pushed the intercom button. “Thanks, Nancy. I’ll take it.” Picking up the receiver, he looked out the window again. “This is Josh.”

“Josh!” a feminine voice he didn't recognize cried. “I’m so glad I got a hold of you. This is Sandra Rodgers, you know, from Lexington High?”

He furrowed his brow. The name was familiar, but damned if he could place her face. He’d shoved high school to the far corners of his mind, along with the rest of Lexington’s six thousand residents.

“Sandy with the red hair?” he asked, searching for more detail.

“The same.” Her voice held a touch of pride, pleased with his recognition.

He chuckled. “Well, I’ll be damned. What’s it been now—ten years? What have you been up to?” Why in the world would someone from his hometown bother to call him after all this time?

“A little of this, a little of that. Yourself?”

“Work. That’s about all I have time for.”

“So I've heard. Your reputation is amazing, Josh. Which is, honestly, why I called.”

Reclining in his chair, he put his feet up on his desk and crossed his ankles. At least she wasn’t calling to invite him to another reunion he had no intention of attending. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, I’ve got a proposal to run past you. I need an architect for a new shopping complex. Think you might be up for it?”

“Shopping complex, huh? Strip Mall, or…?”

“Strip mall feel, but I want the exterior to be authentic. A representation of historic, Lexington, Missouri.”

His feet thudded to the floor as he sat up. “This is in Lexington?”

“Yes. I’ve got a couple hundred acres just sitting right outside town off Highway 13, and I want to do something with it. I’m a developer. I’ve run the figures, gotten some outside investors together, and now we just need to get the ball in motion.”

His frown deepened. He had property off Highway 13. Granted, it was run down, abandoned, and the weeds had probably all grown into the barbed wire fences, but he should have had the brilliant idea of putting a shopping mall in off the main access road. Damn, what a concept! She’d be rich beyond all means when this was said and done.

“That isn’t out by my dad’s old place, is it?”

“Sure is,” she cooed. “Butts up to it. I’m sure we could extend the idea if you wanted to do something with your property too.”

Sandra evidently had more between her ears than what he remembered of her. All his foggy memory could summon was a girl with a sinful body who was more than happy to offer it to virtually every one of his friends on the football team.

“You want me to design it?”

“Sure do. You’re the top-rated architect in Kansas City—I’m sure the residents here would be even more excited about the idea if a hometown boy put his heart into it. Give them something more to be proud about.”

Beyond the historic landmarks? He doubted Lexington’s pride could grow any more. The damn Civil War cannonball in the courthouse pillar was like a religious icon. But she had a point. And the prospect of getting in on the deal was too tempting to ignore. It would almost be worth a trip back home.

Another tree crashed to the ground outside, and the bulldozer claw raked it out of the wrecker’s way. With the racket, a pair of the deepest blue eyes Josh had ever seen flashed in his memory. Unforgettable, big, blue eyes.

Almost worth a trip back home. But not quite.

“I’m not sure, Sandy. My schedule is pretty full. I’ve got deadlines out the ass and clients on my back for things I’m already obligated to.”

“Oh, come on,” she cajoled. “Say yes. Give yourself a Christmas present. Come down here and visit us. Help me line up things, then go home to enjoy your profits. I’ve got all the documents in line. Come out for the weekend. I’ll sit down and go over everything with you.”

Whump!

Outside, the four, twenty-foot tall columns careened sideways like a stack of dominos. The peeling, white porch roof sagged in the middle, hung tenaciously for a heartbeat, and then splintered into a pile of rubble.

Another image floated through his mind. Blond hair. A smile that made his heart trip. Light fingertips that trailed through his wet hair after an afternoon in the lake. Promises and dreams he’d refused to believe.

There was absolutely no way he could sit here and watch that beautiful piece of history crumble.

“No, I have a better idea. Why don’t you get everything together, and I’ll come down and work up the blueprints over the holidays. I’ve got about two weeks in my schedule. I think I can get most of something like that accomplished. Most of it’s pretty standard anymore.”

“Really?” Disbelief edged her question.

“You’ve got yourself an architect. Noon on Monday sound good to you?”

“Yes!”

“Rodgers,” he repeated thoughtfully. “You marry Pete?”

“Sure did.”

“Okay, Sandy. I’ll see you on Monday.”

Josh dropped the phone back in the cradle and stared at it. Lexington. Blond hair, blue eyes, and kisses that turned his world upside down. Lord, he’d never thought he’d go back to the little Missouri town on the river. Not for any reason.

At the crunch of breaking wood, he glanced out the window.

Lexington was better than watching the last of his youth fall to pieces.

Picking up the phone once more, he moved across the room with the entire unit to sit in the corner where he couldn’t witness the destruction. He punched in the information number and waited on the operator.

“City and State please,” the computer-generated voice requested.

“Lexington, Missouri.”

“One moment while I connect your call.”

Josh rolled his eyes. Such a stupid system. They always connected to a live person anyway. Why didn’t they start with one?

“This is Jennifer, how can I help you in Lexington, Missouri?”

“I need the number for Lucas Benning.” He spelled the last name.

On the other end of the line, fingertips tapped across a keyboard. “I have a Lucas Benning on Franklin Avenue.”

“That’s the one.”

“Would you like me to connect you?”

“Please.”

“One moment.”

The phone rang in Josh’s ear. Not the high-pitched dial tone he was used to, but more of a buzz. Like an old switch system that needed to be updated. Just like the whole damn town.

“’Lo?” Lucas answered.

“Luc, it’s Josh.”

“Well, shit.” Lucas let out a sharp burst of deep laughter. “How the hell are ya?”

“Pretty good. Happy Holidays. I got your mom’s card.”

“Merry Christmas, Josh. How you been?”

The sound of something heavy scraping across a wood floor brought a vivid picture of Lucas’ mother’s front room to Josh’s mind. Tall ceiling, plaster walls painted blue and edged with ornate, oak crown moldings—they’d gotten three kinds of hell for breaking her antique lamp when they practiced wrestling one afternoon.

It also brought to mind something Josh had spent eight years trying not to think about. An afternoon in Lucas’ backyard hammock, where those enchanting blond-framed, unforgettable blue eyes looked up at him with so much devotion he’d wanted to cry. And the girl…God, the girl.

Though Lucas left home and bought his own place years ago, Josh only had memories of a time far more distant.

“Good. Work’s going real good. I’m coming in town this weekend. You going to be around?”

Lucas didn’t immediately answer.

In the heavy silence, Josh shifted his weight.

“I should be. I’ve got some fence work to do. But I should be around.”

“Think you’d be up to a beer or two?”

Again the moment of silence. This time, Lucas’ voice held hesitation. “S’pose so. Ain’t coming back here to stir up trouble again, are you?”

Trouble. That’s what his former best friend now considered him. Well, he supposed he’d asked for it. Even best friends had a breaking point. Particularly when women got in the middle of things. But damn. One brief visit during his ten-year hiatus didn’t exactly warrant this degree of cold reception. It wasn’t like Lucas didn’t have his fair share of one-night stands under his belt. When in the hell had he decided Amanda was his concern?

“I’m coming in town for business,” he answered flatly.

“Well, ya better bring a suit and tie. Mom’s Christmas party’s tomorrow night. You know she’ll expect you, if you’re in town.”

Josh groaned inwardly. The last thing he wanted to do was go to a formal Christmas affair. This wasn’t supposed to be a social call. However, Mae Benning would hunt him down with her iron skillet if she found out he was in town and didn’t attend.

“All right. Will do. Just make sure you’ve got enough rum stashed in the kitchen cupboard to last the night.”

Lucas chuckled. “Always do. Only way to get through Mom’s parties.”

“Okay. I need to get some things done before I call it a day. I’ll be out later tonight.”

“Where you stayin’?”

“Thought I’d book a room at The Victorianne. Think they’ll have an opening?”

“This time of year—prob’ly. Though no guarantees. They’ve been busy this year.”

“I’ll call when I get in town and let you know.”

“’Kay. See ya then.”

“See you, Luc.”

Josh hung up and stared at his desk. The design book lay open, waiting for him to finish the front of Warwick Manor. When he did, it would join the other prints in his file room, waiting for the right builder to invest. Someone would. Some rich businessman’s wife would fall in love with the dream Josh had run from and make it hers.

He’d finish it later. When he was ready to turn it over to someone else and cut off those memories eternally.

Standing, he dropped the phone unit back onto his desk and left his office, entering the main floor of his bungalow home.

Nancy looked up from her computer with a smile.

“Why don’t you go on home, Nancy. Go ahead and give yourself some paid time off. Come back after New Year’s. I’m going to be working out of town for a while. Set the phone to forward calls to my cell.”

She blinked as her mouth dropped open a fraction.

He almost laughed aloud. Couldn’t say he didn’t blame her. In five years of working for him, he’d kept her on the job until the twenty-third of December and expected her back January second, bright and early. Even if he didn’t come downstairs until nearly noon.

“I know. Your kids won’t know what to do with you home.”

Laughing, she shook her head. “Adam won’t believe you didn’t fire me.”

Josh grinned. “Me, file my own things and answer the phones? Adam should know better. Hand me the checkbook, would you?”

She pulled open a drawer to her left and passed him the company checkbook. Flipping it open, he scribbled out a check for two thousand dollars, double what she’d make in the two weeks of work. With a fond smile, he passed the check to her. “Merry Christmas.”

Her eyes widened as she stared at the check. She shook her head. “Josh, I can’t.”

“You can, and you will. Go shopping. It’s the first time all week we’ve had three days without snow. Roads ought to be good by now. I’m going to go pack.”

As she fiddled with her computer’s mouse, closing windows and shutting down her system, she asked, “Where are you going?

“Lexington.”

Her hand paused. She cocked her head to the side. “You’re going home?”

He looked over her head and out the window behind her, catching the tail end of the wrecker’s ball before the heavy weight swung back out of his line of sight. He clenched his jaw. “No. This is home. I’m going to Lexington. There’s nothing homey about that.”

“Taking Olivia?”

His laughter slipped out in a combination of a chuckle-snort. “They’d have to find diamonds floating in the river to make my sister go back.”

Nancy let out a soft chuckle. “I rather thought that’s how you felt about it.”

Grinning again, he winked. “Close. Not quite though. She hated it when we were kids. That’s the difference.”

“Gotcha.” She picked up her purse and slid it over her shoulder as she rounded her desk for the door. “Well, I’ll get out of here. Let you get to packing.”

Stopping to flip the open sign around to Closed, she looked back over her shoulder. “Merry Christmas, Josh,” she added with a fond smile.

“Go have fun.” He nodded at the door. “Get the kids something special from Santa.”

With a little wave, she exited.

As the door settled quietly into the frame, Josh’s smile faded. Olivia was going to think he’d lost his mind.

Maybe he had.

Heading up the wide, sweeping staircase that led to the residential part of the house, he called out, “Olivia? Get dressed, I’m coming up. I’ve got to talk to you before I leave town.”

She called back to him, her voice muffled behind her closed studio room. “Out of town? Over Christmas?”

Halfway up the stairs, he answered, “I’m going to Lexington.”

Something heavy crashed against the floorboards over his head, followed by her muffled curse. The paneled door rolled open and thudded into the wall stop. Her voice came louder, almost a screech, as she stepped into the hall.

“You’re going where?”

Oh, how I love release days! They are so exciting, and this year even more, because it's happening right at a holiday, for the holidays. Double WHEE!

Snoopy Dance too.

To celebrate, I'm blogging at Coffee Time Romance today, and would love to have you pop in and say hello.

So with much ado, I'm uber excited to announce that A Christmas To Believe In, is here at last!

It's the third book in the Three Kings Series, and tells the tale of Clint King's struggles, both with his heart, and with his dreams. I fell in love with Clint, and I hope you will too.


A CHRISTMAS TO BELIEVE IN
The Three Kings, Book 3

When a man's dreams are in ruin, all he needs is someone to believe...

Struggling Thoroughbred breeder, Clint King, hasn’t been home for Christmas in five years. Like his brothers, Alex and Heath, life has kept him away. Clint’s farm is barely hanging on. His prize mare's due to foal any day, and in the wake of his father’s death, Clint can’t stand the idea of returning. The memories are too much, let alone his father’s imposing shadow. Except, Alex is getting married on Christmas Eve, and their mother’s put her foot down. She’ll have her boys at home. With his mare in tow behind him, Clint prepares to meet a sister he’s never known and Alex’s unexpected triplets. The one salvation he looks forward to is childhood companion, tomboy Jesse Saurs. Yet when he reunites with Jesse, he uncomfortably discovers she’s become all woman.

Jesse Saurs has everything she needs – financial security, a home, and a foster child who’s about to become her son. She’s spent two years breaking down Ethan’s emotional barriers, and with the final hearing scheduled just before Christmas, this year promises to make his dreams come true. When she learns Clint and his brothers are returning, she anticipates a holiday reunion that’s sure to entertain Ethan. But on the night of Clint’s return, the ‘brother’ she expected leaves her trembling after just a single hug. Even worse, Ethan makes it clear Clint's not welcome.

Will this Christmas destroy what's left of hopes and dreams, or will it give the three the gift they've all been longing for?


EXCERPT:


“You’d like him, Ethan. He was a lot of fun when we were younger.

”“Uh huh.” Noncommittal, he answered in a flat tone.

Jesse lapsed into silence, sensing she walked a thin line. Still, she couldn’t let the subject rest. There had to be a way to convince Ethan that Clint wasn’t a threat to his stability. Until she achieved that, she couldn’t just let go and let him harbor hate. Clint didn’t deserve it. Cautiously, she ventured, “Horses could be a lot of fun.”

Ethan snorted.

“You might give it a try. Something new and different. It can’t hurt, at any rate. If you don’t like Angel, well, then you’ve at least given it a shot.”

He tossed his controller in front of him, his interest in the game lost. She braced herself for the inevitable, knowing full well, whatever came out of his mouth next would hurt.

“Give it up, would you? I don’t want to know him. I don’t have to like your friends.”

“But Ethan-”

He scooted away like she’d cracked a whip in his face. “Enough! Don’t you get it? I don’t give a fuck about him.”

“Ethan Scott!”

“What? Too crude for you, Jesse?”

She flinched, drew in a deep breath and held it. Jesse. He hadn’t called her by her first name for over a year. Exhaling slowly, she set her controller down and slid off his bed. Though she knew in her heart, too many years of pain drove his emotions, the barb stung. On the same hand, she’d pushed. Ethan couldn’t tolerate pushing. He had to come to things on his own time.

Foregoing the lecture, she crossed to the door. “Goodnight, Ethan.”

He said nothing. Merely picked up his controller and set the options back to one-player. On a heavy sigh, Jesse left his room.

Inside hers, she clicked on the lamp by her bedside and reclined against her pillows. Tears brimmed in her eyes. She closed them to keep the salty flow at bay and curled her fingers into the sheets. In a thousand years, she never would have imagined that the only man she’d ever truly wanted would be Clint. In his arms, she felt safe. Protected. Undefeatable. He lit her up in ways she had only begun to comprehend, and it seemed as if fate determined to work against her.

If she weren’t careful, she’d lose Ethan. Every agonizing step she’d made would crumble under the weight of his fears. He’d close up, inevitably turn back to the life he’d known before he entered hers, and she couldn’t stomach the thought of where that would lead him. Jail, if he were lucky. Dead, if he wasn’t.

Yet, shouldn’t she be allowed some personal happiness as well? There were so many unwritten rules to parenthood – sacrifice for the children, put all personal goals aside, give up everything to see to their happiness. She’d exchange her life for Ethan’s in a heartbeat, but Clint offered something no child could. Even if it was only temporary, and this giddy feeling that brimmed in her soul would end when he left, he promised fulfillment of a need that ran so deep she couldn’t name it.

A tear slipped between her eyelashes and trickled down her cheek. She sniffled to hold the rest in check. She never should have let him kiss her a second time tonight. The first had been catastrophic enough. The second…

She wouldn’t be satisfied with anything but all of him after that second kiss. Instinct demanded she leap at what lay in front of her. Hang on to it until it burned itself out with his inevitable departure. Logic, on the other hand, warned her that if she did, she’d lose the one thing that mattered most – her son.

BUY LINK

Yay, yay, yay -- Snoopy dance day.

Actually, this all transpired last week, so I am a little late on the announcement. But it doesn't change the enthusiasm!

For those who have been receiving my newsletter, I've mentioned working on a Christmas project with two other authors. Well, I received word from The Wild Rose Press that A Christmas To Believe In has been contracted.

This isn't an anthology. It is slated as the third book in a trilogy. I can't say anymore, until we know whether the whole proposal is accepted or not.

For your blurb enjoyment --


When a man's dreams are in ruin, all he needs is someone to believe...


Struggling Thoroughbred breeder, Clint King, hasn’t been home for Christmas in five years. Like his brothers, Alex and Heath, life has kept him away. Clint’s farm is barely hanging on. His prize mare's due to foal any day, and in the wake of his father’s death, Clint can’t stand the idea of returning. The memories are too much, let alone his father’s imposing shadow. Except, Alex is getting married on Christmas Eve, and their mother’s put her foot down. She’ll have her boys at home. With his mare in tow behind him, Clint prepares to meet a sister he’s never known and Alex’s unexpected triplets. The one salvation he looks forward to is childhood companion, tomboy Jesse Saurs. Yet when he reunites with Jesse, he uncomfortably discovers she’s become all woman.

Jesse Saurs has everything she needs – financial security, a home, and a foster child who’s about to become her son. She’s spent two years breaking down Ethan’s emotional barriers, and with the final hearing scheduled just before Christmas, this year promises to make his dreams come true. When she learns Clint and his brothers are returning, she anticipates a holiday reunion that’s sure to entertain Ethan. But on the night of Clint’s return, the ‘brother’ she expected leaves her trembling after just a single hug. Even worse, Ethan makes it clear Clint's not welcome.

Will this Christmas destroy what's left of hopes and dreams, or will it give the three the gift they've all been longing for?